Friend #1 argued passionately that entrepreneurship is the only path to meaningful work. Why? Working for someone else was pointless, fruitless, and beneath his abilities. Further, he insisted that God surely wouldn’t want us to work for people with whom we disagree.

Friend #2 took the opposite stance, insisting that Christians should avoid entrepreneurship because it's "just about making money" or trying to be important. It distracts from what truly matters: God, family, and church.

I love both of these men, and hold enterprenuers and the employee in high regard, yet their perspectives miss something crucial.

The issue isn't the mode of work—it's the heart behind it.

As Scripture reminds us, "the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils" (1 Timothy 6:10). Notice it's the love of money, not money itself, that's problematic.

What matters most is stewardship—wisely growing and expanding what God has entrusted to us, whether much or little, for His glory. That may be as an employee, entreprenuer, contractor, job-seeker, or homemaker.

Money is a tool for building. As such, the answer isn’t to hate money, but rather not to love it or to put our confidence in it. Money isn’t the object of our faith.

While our discussion here isn’t not (pardon the grammar) about money, it’s ultimately about our work. Here’s what I know for certain:

1. You Were Created for Work

Work isn't a curse—it's a calling. Before the Fall, before sin entered the world, God placed Adam in the garden "to work it and keep it" (Genesis 2:15). Work is part of our fundamental design as image-bearers of God. It's part of how we participate in His ongoing creative and sustaining work in the world.

2. Work, Gain, and Profit Aren't Inherently Sinful

Jesus himself told parables celebrating shrewd business practices and faithful stewardship (Luke 16:1-9, Matthew 25:14-30). The Apostle Paul's counsel to the wealthy condemn the love of money, but doesn’t condemn riches.

Instead, he instructs how to use them: "As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God... They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share" (1 Timothy 6:17-18). The Bible doesn't condemn wealth—it gives instructions for stewarding it well.

3. But Work Can Become Sinful Through Wrong Means or Motives

While work and gain aren't inherently evil, they can result from sinful means or be pursued with sinful motives. "Whoever is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household" (Proverbs 15:27).

The heart behind our work matters as much as the work itself. Are we pursuing wealth through dishonesty? Are we sacrificing our families on the altar of ambition? Are we building a shrine to our legacy? Are we avoiding responsibility and opportunity under the falsely religious guise of humility? These are the real dangers Scripture warns against in precept and in principle.

4. God Doesn't Need Your Work

This is perhaps the most humbling truth: "He is not served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything" (Acts 17:25). Yet amazingly, God created you for His glory (Isaiah 43:7) and invites you to participate in imitating His work as an image-bearer.

Your entrepreneurial venture, W-2 employment, or mom-duties aren’t about saving the world; they’re about glorifying God within this world. God could accomplish His purposes without us, but He chooses to work through us. Don’t worship work, see your work as a form of worship toward God.

5. Steward Faithfully Wherever You Are

As Paul teaches bondservants in Corinth, "Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called... But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity" (1 Corinthians 7:20-21). Be content where God has placed you, but also be open to new opportunities He provides.

The key is faithful stewardship—wisely maximizing the return of God's investment—in your current circumstances while remaining alert to God's leading. This means that your wealth or proverty belong to God; steward them faithfully to maximize the return!

6. Seek to Maximize Your Impact While Glorifying God

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" (Colossians 3:23). This doesn't mean every Christian should become an entrepreneur, nor does it mean everyone should stay in corporate employment. It means approaching your work—whatever it is—with excellence, integrity, and a heart to serve others and honor God.

Counsel to My Friends

Don't focus on the mode of your work (entrepreneurship, W-2, 1099, etc.) but rather the means (grace), method (as unto Christ), and purpose (glorifying God).

To my friend who believes they can only glorify God by leaving their W-2 at a company whose ideals they don't fully support, and to my friend who assumes anything beyond W-2 employment—even accepting a promotion—is selfish and rooted in love of money, my word is the same:

Glorify God where God has placed you.

This counsel should be encouraging to the stay-at-home mom and the job seeker, too!

Look at Joseph's example in Genesis. Whether in the pit, the prison, Potiphar's household, or on Pharaoh's throne, he stewarded each position with the same heartbeat of faith in God's sovereign providence: God has put me here to provide for others and fulfill His purposes.

Can't agree with your employer or some of their actions? I can appreciate this concern. I would encourage you to think of Joseph. I can only imagine the ethical, moral, and religious differences he faced while in prison, working for Potiphar, or overseeing Pharaoh's empire. We do well to consider Joseph's stewardship and that of the believing bondservants that the Apostle Paul admonished in Corinth, working for unbelieving (and at times, cruel) masters.

Feeling passive, like you can’t (or shouldn’t) try to improve your situation? Well, Joseph is a great example here, too. Everything Joseph did was met with God’s blessing, and Joseph’s efforts at stewardship with excellence were offered in worshipful faith.

The question isn't whether you're an entrepreneur or an employee.

The question is: Are you wisely and enterprisingly stewarding what's in front of you with the biblical purpose to the glory of God?

W-2 or 1099. Startup founder or corporate executive. Stay-at-home parent or global CEO:

Work as unto Him, wherever He has placed you. All work is honorable when done to the glory of God.

—

As always,

Stay humble. Hang Tough.

Paul Tucker

"God gave us a spirit not of power and love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Those two passages transformed my life. For all my life, I operated from a place of fear:

🔸 Fear of failure.

🔸 Fear of not trying.

🔸 Fear of not succeeding.

🔸 Fear of letting my family down.

🔸 Fear of letting my boss down.

🔸 Fear of letting myself down.

🔸 Fear of doing too little.

🔸 Fear of doing too much.

🔸 Fear of attention.

🔸 Fear of invisibility.

🔸 Fear of wealth.

🔸 Fear of poverty.

🔸 Fear of average.

🔸 Fear of exceptionalism.

🔸 Fear of inferiority.

🔸 Fear of mediocrity.

I discovered that fear, while a powerful motivator, extracts a terrible price. I was incredibly driven by fear—and simultaneously robbed of joy.

What's the alternative? Love.

Rather than acting to escape your fears—whatever they might be—act from a place of love.

❤️ Don't fear failure. Love growth.

❤️ Don't fear judgment. Love others.

❤️ Don't fear the unknown. Love discovery.

Take it from someone who learned the hard way: fear will drain the life from you, while love will sustain you through the journey.

Tired? Check what you’re running from.

Fear is a great motivator but never gives the energy to continue the course.

—

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

Paul Tucker

It might be pride in disguise. Ask me how I know. 🫣

If we downplay or overfocus on our abilities and limitations, we're still making it all about us—our limitations, our insecurities, our comfort zone, and our desired image.

This isn't humility. It's an inverted form of pride and ego preservation. True humility shifts the spotlight completely away from ourselves.

As Philippians 2:4 reminds us: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Genuine humility asks: "How can I best serve others?" not "How can I protect my image?" or "How can I insulate myself from embarrassment?"

Real humility isn't about deprecating or insulting yourself—this is still a form of self-focused pride. The aim of humility isn't rooted in how you view yourself. It's about how you think of others first.

Here's how to practice genuine humility in leadership:

🔹 Ask "What does my team need from me right now?" instead of focusing on your performance

🔹 Accept praise with a simple "thank you" and redirect attention to the team effort

🔹 Make decisions based on what will help others succeed, not what feels safe for you

🔹 Share credit freely and take responsibility quickly when things go wrong

🔹 Ask questions and listen to hear, not respond—you have two ears and only one mouth for a reason!

True humility is freeing. When you stop the cycle of building yourself up or tearing yourself down, you can finally focus on what matters: serving and building up the people around you.

Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

This verse is why I don't swear. Not because I think it's the worst thing ever, but because this verse says it's not helpful. But there's a deeper application here!

This verse tells us to PUT ON speech that is...

1️⃣ Good for building up others ("Will others be helped?")

2️⃣ Fitting for the occasion ("Is this the time/place for this remark?")

3️⃣ Gives grace to those who hear ("Will others be encouraged?")

This short checklist has shaped and will continue to shape my speech and behavior toward others. There is lots of room to improve!

How about you? Have you ever worked with someone with this joyful, others-before-me, genuine humility? What was the impact on you and your workplace?

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

Paul Tucker

Admittedly, that doesn't have quite the same ring as the line from Disney's adaptation of the fairytale, "Snow White."

But what if the Evil Queen was on social media? What content would she be indulging in on LinkedIn?

We've all seen them: "10 traits of a toxic boss" or "How to know if you're working for a toxic leader."

Some of this content is genuinely helpful.

It reminds us that just because work is challenging, our boss might not be the problem.

Or, it confirms gaslighting and empowers us to take action.

WHO'S THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL?

But here's what's missing: Where are the "10 signs your behavior is toxic" articles?

Why do we eagerly consume content that identifies toxicity in others while avoiding similar scrutiny of ourselves?

We find satisfaction in highlighting in others what we're unwilling to see in ourselves.

We're happy to ask the mirror to show us our perfections or to highlight others' flaws, but rarely ask it to reveal our own. This is the purpose of a mirror, after all.

The queen never used her mirror to see her jealousy or cruelty – just her beauty. We do the same. We check our appearance but ignore the flaws in our character.

THE REFLECTION WE AVOID

Toxic leaders exist, but their toxicity didn't suddenly appear when they were promoted (or became queen).

Leadership didn't create the problem; it just gave them the authority to affect more people.

The mirror of leadership simply revealed what was already there.

The truth is that harmful workplace behavior isn't exclusively a leadership problem.

It's a personal trait built from years of refusing to reflect on the truth, "Maybe I'm part of the problem here."

LOOKING DEEPLY INTO THE GLASS

It reminds me of James 1:22-25, which captures this idea perfectly:

"Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like."

In other words, there's a big difference between glancing at your reflection and genuinely seeing yourself. Real growth happens when we not only look but take action.

ASKING YOURSELF THE HARD QUESTIONS

Ready to be a doer and honestly examine your reflection? Ask these tough questions:

1️⃣ Name a time you blamed someone else for a problem you contributed to. What exactly was your role in creating that situation?

2️⃣ Think of someone you criticized recently. Put yourself in their shoes - what would they say about you? How might they view your actions?

3️⃣ Which conflicts get worse when you're involved? How does the atmosphere change simply because you're in the room?

4️⃣ What feedback have you dismissed because it was "just their opinion" or "they don't understand my history?"

5️⃣ Ask a trusted friend: "What do I consistently do that makes things difficult?" Just listen. Take notes. Say thank you.

THE PATH FORWARD

This ability to own "I'm part of the problem" without making excuses is crucial to who you are and who you will become.

Remember the Evil Queen. It all starts with a failure to see ourselves rightly.

Taking steps toward growth, change, and restoration forms the heartbeat of the humbletough ethos.

Being humbletough means seeing your true reflection – warts and all – and having the courage to do something about it.

It's a difficult balance: humble enough to admit your flaws, tough enough to work on them.

Next time you see a "10 signs of a toxic boss" article, remember: you're looking at a mirror, not a window. The same patterns might be developing in you right now.

We need more people willing to ask their mirror a different question: "Show me not who's the fairest, but where I need to grow."

Next time you read about toxic behaviors, pause and ask yourself, "Do I ever do this?" That simple question might be the most important one you'll ask today.

Don't be a hearer only.

As always, Stay humble. Hang tough.

Paul Tucker

The disadvantages we constantly focus on become self-fulfilling prophecies that follow us everywhere.

THE HARD TRUTH 💡

When you label something as your "unfair disadvantage," you're programming your brain to:

• Find evidence that supports this belief

• Miss opportunities that contradict it

• Make decisions that actually reinforce it

We all have our go-to disadvantages:

👵 "I'm too old for this industry..."

🧩 "My background doesn't fit..."

🔗 "I don't have the right connections..."

🔄 "My skills are outdated..."

🚫 "People like me don't get these opportunities..."

Yes, real obstacles exist. My point isn't to diminish the reality of your battle.

But there's a sharp contrast between acknowledging challenges, creating a plan, or simply letting these challenges define your story.

BREAKING THE CYCLE 🔄

Here are five practical steps to shift your focus:

1️⃣ Notice your narrative: Pay attention when you catch yourself saying, "I can't because..." or "It's unfair that I..."

2️⃣ Question your evidence: For every piece of "proof" your disadvantage holds you back, find one example where someone with similar challenges succeeded.

3️⃣ Reframe daily: Each morning, ask, "What advantages do I have access to today?" instead of rehearsing limitations.

4️⃣ Set small wins: Create goals that deliberately work around or directly challenge your perceived disadvantage.

5️⃣ Change your conversations: Notice how often you mention your challenge to others (or yourself)—each mention reinforces its power in your mind.

THE SHIFT THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING 🌱

The most successful people don't deny their challenges—they just refuse to make them the defining character in the arch of their story.

This doesn't just apply to your career and social life. What you focus on either hinders or enables you.

👉 The quality of your object of focus shapes the outcome.

Focus on the wrong finish line? You'll run the wrong race. Focused on your disadvantages? You'll avoid competing in that arena.

Hebrews 12 says,

"1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

This applies to your spiritual life, too. The point isn't that you don't have weight, baggage, or even sin that clings on for dear life.

No, the point is that there are those who have run this course before—sitting in the stands and cheering us on.

The more profound point is that Christ ran the race before us—He's the author and finisher of our faith—and endured the unfair and unjust path to achieve our victory and mercy on our behalf.

What you focus on becomes your finish line. 🏁

What disadvantage or limitation have you been giving too much airtime lately?

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

Paul Tucker

💡 After watching another leader throw their team under the bus many years ago, I found myself thinking, "We desperately need leaders who are both humble and tough."

That's when it hit me - "humbletough." 🎯

It became more than just a word. It became my north star for leadership, blog name, signature, and a daily reminder of who I'm trying to become. Not because I've mastered it (far from it!) but because it represents something our world needs more of.

🌟 Here's what being humbletough means in practice:

• You handle hard things without making them harder through ego or drama
• You give credit freely and take responsibility completely
• You stay steady when things get rocky but remain open to learning and growth
• You lead with both strength and kindness - because the best leaders do both
• You work hard behind the scenes without needing constant recognition

I'm not perfect at this—none of us are—but I've seen what happens when leaders lack humility or toughness, and it's not pretty.

👉 We need more leaders who can be strong without being arrogant and humble without being weak.

Here's the thing: great humbletough leaders start as humbletough individuals. While you can develop these qualities at any point, the earlier you start, the deeper they become part of who you are. It's about building these muscles before you need them in leadership.

That's why I write about leadership as "humbletough." It's not about having all the answers. It's about pursuing a better way of leading—one that combines backbone with heart. 💪❤️

🤔 Is anyone else on this same journey? What leadership qualities do you think we need more of today?

_
As always,
Stay humble. Hang tough.
Paul Tucker

This false choice stops too many of us from reaching our full potential.

True strength isn't about making noise. It's not a weapon for self-preservation or dominating others — it's a tool you develop to serve and protect those around you. It's showing up consistently, especially when things get tough, and having the endurance to keep going when others give up.

Genuine humility isn't self-doubt or loathing. It's putting your ego aside, seeing and serving others first, and clearly viewing your strengths and gaps without letting them define your future potential.

In my work with aspiring and current leaders across industries, I've noticed something powerful: Those who consistently succeed combine both qualities. They have:

• The toughness to weather criticism and setbacks

• The humility to listen and adapt when necessary

• The strength to stand firm on their principles

• The courage to own their mistakes openly and learn from them

That last point is crucial. When we mess up (and we all do), true strength isn't found in hiding our errors or blaming others. It's in ownership: saying "I was wrong" directly and focusing on how you will make things right.

Honesty builds more trust than any curated display of perfection ever could.

This balance isn't just nice to have—it's essential for sustainable success and authentic leadership of yourself and others.

Because here's the truth: The most enduring leaders aren't those who never fall. They're the ones who know how to get back up, own their mistakes, learn the lesson, and keep moving forward without letting their ego get in the way. This is the humbletough ethos.

What's one way you've balanced humility and toughness in your leadership journey?

As always,
Stay humble. Hang tough.
Paul Tucker

As Tanveer suppressed his laughter and patiently explained the need for a connection to the wall outlet, I couldn't help but see something profound unfolding. Here was a perfect picture of my human tendency to seek power from within myself, to create closed circuits of self-sufficiency that will ultimately leave me powerless.

It reminds me of Jesus's words about the vine and branches in John 15. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).

These aren't mere words of encouragement—they're a fundamental truth about our nature. Like that surge protector, we simply cannot generate our own power. We're a conduit, not the source.

But Christ doesn't just tell us this truth and leave us there; He offers Himself as our source of life and strength.

The caller's insistence that her setup should work sometimes mirrors our struggles. We create elaborate systems of self-reliance, convinced they should be enough. But like branches separated from the vine or surge protectors plugged into themselves, we must remain attached to produce fruit—by abiding in Christ (John 15:8-9).

That moment in tech support taught me something I've carried through decades: our role isn't to be self-sufficient but to stay connected to our Source and let His power flow through us to serve others.

Feeling drained? Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is simply check our connection. It's not about how fancy our surge protector is—it's about whether it's plugged into true power.

In that light, that silly call from a few decades ago serves as a reminder of my deepest need: to stay connected to the only Source that can truly power our lives, the One who promises that when we remain in Him, we will "bear much fruit" (John 15:8)—not through our own strength but through His perfect power working through us.

As always,
Stay humble. Hang tough.
Paul Tucker

The Essence of Character

Long before LinkedIn, TikTok, and Instagram feeds, people understood the importance of reputation. They knew that a person's true nature would inevitably reveal itself through their actions, choices, and impact on others. As Proverbs 22:1 tells us, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold." This ancient Biblical wisdom captures a truth that modern personal branding often overlooks: reputation isn't built through careful curation but through consistent character.

The Modern Misconception

Many approach personal branding backward. They start with the image they want to project, carefully curating every post and interaction to match that ideal. Worse still, many aspiring influencers simply emulate what they envy in others without ever considering where that path eventually leads. They're so captivated by someone else's highlight reel, chasing after similar attention, that they forget to begin with their own end in mind.

Before you chase someone else's "success," ask yourself: If I achieve exactly what they have, will it align with who I am and what I value? Will it lead me to the life I actually want to live? What will people closest to me remember at my funeral? What stories will they tell? As Jesus asks with piercing clarity in Mark 8:36: "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" There's an eternal opinion that matters far more than your family, friends, or followers.

I suppose I’m not calling you to stop building your personal brand. I’m challenging you to pause to see if it reflects the beliefs and values you hold dear.

The Character-Brand Connection

Here's how authentic personal brands—and genuine character—actually develop:

1. Beliefs shape our values

2. Values drive our behaviors

3. Behaviors produce our results

4. Results define our reputation

Your reputation—or personal brand, in modern parlance—isn't what you claim it to be. It's the natural outcome of this cascade, starting with your core beliefs and ending with the impact you have on the world. As Matthew 7:16-17 puts it, "You will recognize them by their fruits... every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit." Look first to give your character substance rather than seeking substance for your content.

The Truth About Values-Based Brands

Here's an uncomfortable truth: Your values don't have to be good to gain good results.

Some of the most "successful" personal brands are built on the presence of very specific values—just not the ones you might admire. When someone's core belief is that life revolves around their possessions, beauty, status, and fame, that brand is still values-based. But it's anchored in self-centered values rather than service, growth, or community.

Don't be fooled by the glamour. As 1 Samuel 16:7 warns us, "Man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." A strong personal brand doesn't automatically mean strong character—it only indicates alignment between beliefs and behaviors. The question isn't whether you have values driving your brand but which values you're choosing to embody.

In a moment of transparency, I wrestle with what values I'm trying to display even as I write this piece. For example, I'm writing something I believe to be true—but my motivations can shift even during the writing process. I often begin with a pure motive of sharing, giving, and inspiring growth. But as the editing continues, it's not uncommon to feel my desires shift toward an unhealthy longing for affirmation.

The deceitfulness of my own desires are ever-present; that's why beliefs must be our anchor so we know when we're drifting.

Building an Authentic Legacy

If your personal brand doesn't authentically showcase your values, you're likely building on a false persona. You might not recognize it yet, but the people around you do. They can sense the disconnect between who you claim to be and how you actually show up in the world.

Consider the significant historical figures whose "personal brands" have endured. Their lasting impact didn't come from careful image management but from the alignment between their beliefs, values, actions, and results. They understood that character isn't built overnight through carefully curated content but through consistent choices made day after day, year after year.

The Path Forward

As you think about your own personal brand, start with these questions:

• What do I truly believe about the world and my place in it?

• What values naturally flow from these beliefs?

• How do these values manifest in my daily choices and actions?

• What results am I creating through these behaviors?

• Does my online presence reflect these realities, or am I projecting a disconnected ideal?

Remember: Your personal brand isn't something you create—it's something you reveal through consistent, value-driven actions. In a world obsessed with image, choose to focus on substance. Let your character be your brand, and let your brand be a true reflection of your character.

The most powerful legacy you can build isn't a carefully constructed image—it's the natural outcome of living and working in alignment with your deepest beliefs and values. In the end, that's what people will remember about you, long after the likes and shares have faded away.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.
Paul Tucker

It might come from that presentation that went sideways, the project that failed spectacularly, or the public correction that stung more than it should. It's external, imposed upon us by circumstances, behaviors, or others, leaving us feeling exposed and diminished.

But here's the profound truth: humiliation doesn't automatically cultivate humility. In fact, the intensity of our humiliation often reveals the depth of our pride. When we believe we're above criticism, beyond failure, or deserve better treatment, humiliation strikes hardest. While there's no justification for the intentional humiliation of another person, it's often our pride that transforms even a justified correction into a crushing blow.

By contrast, humility is an internal transformation. It's not something done to us but a change within us. It's what happens when we metabolize those moments of humiliation into something powerful, choosing to see our stumbles not merely as the shattering of an image we hoped others would admire, but as stepping stones toward genuine growth and godliness.

Scripture reminds us that "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18). Pride blinds us to our own limitations, making every setback feel like an unjust assault on our worth.

Humiliation asks, "What will others think?" while humility asks, "What can I learn and how can I change?" Humiliation shrinks us, but humility grounds us. One is a wound; the other is wisdom.

Proverbs 19:25 reveals this truth: "Strike a scoffer, and the simple will learn prudence; reprove a man of understanding, and he will gain knowledge." James 4:6 reinforces this principle: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

The most effective people I've worked with aren't those who've never faced humiliation but those who've alchemized it into humility – turning their most challenging moments into their most instructive teachers. King Solomon, considered the wisest of all kings, captured this transformation perfectly: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom" (Proverbs 11:2).

Sharing what I'm learning, not what I've mastered.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

It's resilience. Toughness. The ability to stay anchored when everything feels uncertain.

Resilience isn't about being unshaken or unshakeable – it's about how we respond every time we're shaken. Biblical wisdom captures this truth beautifully:

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed"

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

It’s a fact. You will be shaken. Those daily frustrations? Delayed plans? Rejected efforts? Devastating loss? They're real; you'll need a place to anchor your hope that gives lasting strength to weather the storm.

Also, remember that storms have a purpose. The verse preceding the ones I shared above says,

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”

2 Corinthians 4:7

The point isn’t that you don’t have strength or can’t build strength, but your strength won’t last the storm. It’s not about you.

We must anchor our hope in something more potent and profound than ourselves. Life will throw waves at you that are deeper and stronger than you—and in that moment, you must be anchored to the Rock to outlast the storm.

But also note, as verse seven tells us, there's a purpose in our suffering and trials. What's that purpose? God would be exalted as His clay pots (you and me!) display His surpassing glory and strength.

Listen. Clay pots weren't fancy in the Apostle Paul's day—they were ordinary, somewhat fragile vessels. Yet their weakness made them the perfect container and metaphor for displaying God's strength—just like you and me. This truth is so central that Paul later celebrates it explicitly:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

True resilience, then, isn't about becoming unbreakable. It's about understanding that our very fragility serves a greater purpose—to make much of God's strength. When we anchor ourselves in this truth, we find strength not in avoiding storms but in letting them reveal God's greatness through us.

This isn't empty positivity or mere self-help wisdom. It's a time-tested truth: our struggles have a purpose, our weakness can showcase strength, and our resilience grows not by hardening ourselves but by anchoring ourselves to something immovable.

So the next time life shakes you, remember: the goal isn't to become unshakeable on your own. It's to be so well-anchored that you display a strength beyond yourself, even as the sea billows roll.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

~ Paul Tucker

Think about it – every person you admire, every achievement worth celebrating, came from someone who dared to care more than average. Someone who showed up early, stayed late, asked the "obvious" questions, and didn’t allow fear of looking foolish to halt their pursuit of mastery.

This year, forget about grand resolutions. Instead, focus on consistently showing up and giving your all. Because here's what those playground critics never understood: habits shape behaviors, and behaviors shape lives.

So yes, I'm a try-hard. I care deeply about improving. I'm willing to look awkward while learning—and I often do.

In a world that often celebrates mediocrity and mocks ambition, wear your effort like a badge of honor. Because at the end of the day, the real foolishness isn't in trying too hard – it's in not trying at all.

I blurted out this accidental mix of metaphors during a team meeting. Without missing a beat, my colleague Chris chimed in with theatrical disgust: "Well! I should hope not!"

The room erupted in laughter. That phrase quickly became our team's shorthand for flexible suggestions rather than rigid mandates—a reminder that we didn't need to maintain a facade of perfection to be effective. Other spoken blunders from yours truly quickly joined that expression in our office lexicon.

Standard leadership advice (written and spoken) focuses on projecting strength, maintaining control, and preserving authority. It's the Wizard of Oz school of management: "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" Even after being exposed, the Wizard continues his charade in Oz, desperately clinging to his delusions of grandeur rather than embracing the hard work of genuine connection and personal growth.

How many of us have worked under leaders like this? They pull their levers, project their smoke and mirrors, and hope their teams won't notice their very human limitations. But in a healthy workplace culture, what matters isn't the absence of limitations—it's the presence of both authenticity and accountability. Trust isn't built on an authoritative, impressive display of smoke and flames—it's built on acknowledging our weaknesses and actively working to improve them.

Trust is the secret of every great team, but not its start. Trust is predicated on knowability, and knowability grows from vulnerability.

While my team's warm-hearted teasing about mixed metaphors was indeed a sign of a healthy culture, it wasn't the foundation. The foundation was creating an environment where we could acknowledge our limitations without being defined by them—where stepping out from behind our curtains was just the first step in a journey of continuous growth.

This transformation starts with (self) leadership. Share what keeps you up at night, the challenges you're wrestling with, your thought process behind decisions, and yes, even glimpses into your life beyond the office.

But remember: there's a crucial difference between vulnerability and emotional dumping. Your team isn't your therapist—they're your partners in achieving shared goals. Don't ask them to carry your burden or fix you (gross!). Instead, invite them to know the real you and witness your commitment to growth. Pull back the curtain, then roll up your sleeves.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: your team already sees behind your curtain. Toto the dog isn’t required. They know your limitations—often better than you do! The real choice isn't whether to have weaknesses; it's how you respond to them. Don't explain away your shortcomings as unavoidable, but don't pretend they don't exist, either. Perfect leaders don't build great teams; leaders who own their imperfections and actively work to improve them do.

Trying to maintain an impeccable reputation is like constantly working the levers of an elaborate illusion. It's exhausting, unsustainable, and ultimately alienating. The energy spent protecting an artificial image is better invested in genuine growth and connection.

So go ahead—mix your metaphors. Trust me, I’ve committed far worse blunders that have required my team’s forgiveness (ask for forgiveness, by the way!). Embrace your "faux pas" moments—or "fax paus," as I initially typed and decided to keep as an (im)perfect example. Smile and laugh openly, but remember that authenticity without accountability is just permission to stay stuck. Your openness about limitations, paired with your visible commitment to growth, creates the safety that allows others to bring their whole selves to work—and their whole commitment to improvement.

After all, the real magic of leadership isn't in maintaining an illusion of perfection nor is it shrugging at imperfection—it's in modeling the courage to acknowledge where you are and the commitment to become better. Or, as I like to say, "Leadership is waking up every morning and admitting with an eager smile that ‘you stink,’ and then fearlessly committing to improving yet again today."

Unlike the Wizard, who never learned this lesson, true leaders understand that their power comes not from smoke and mirrors but from the authentic connections they build when they dare to be known—and the respect they earn when they dare to grow.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

Fear is not inherently bad—it serves a purpose. It’s the alarm bell that sounds when something requires our attention. Fear heightens our awareness, sharpens our senses, and prepares us to act. However, the mistake comes when we let fear become directive rather than merely informative.

When fear dictates your decisions, it narrows your vision. It urges you to escape, avoid, or overreact rather than approach challenges with intention. Imagine being on a ship at sea, and a storm is brewing on the horizon. The storm—the source of your fear—demands your attention. Your impulse is to turn and run away.

However, the impulse of fear doesn’t account for the storm's path. No, fear only knows what it seeks to avoid, and if trusted for advice, it only tells you where not to be. Fear’s guidance is to forsake the destination and flee in the opposite direction, often delaying the inevitable: The storm will soon swallow the ship as it closes in from across the sea.

Wisdom, by contrast, acknowledges the very real alarm bells fear raises, then charts a course forward and to the side, piloting rough yet passable waters as the deadly heart of the storm continues on its path far from the ship’s new route.

Fear is like that storm. It’s real, it’s powerful, and it deserves respect. But it should not steer the ship or cause you to abandon the intended destination. Fear is a powerful force for urgency and attention but a terrible compass.

How to Use Fear Without Letting It Lead

To stop fear from being your primary decision-maker, try these actionable steps:

1. Pause and Identify the Source of Fear
   Instead of reacting immediately, take a moment to identify what’s causing your fear. Is it a real, immediate danger or a projection of worst-case scenarios? Write down your thoughts if needed—sometimes putting them on paper helps you see the situation more objectively.

2. Reframe Fear as a Messenger, Not a Master
   Treat fear as a source of information. Like an alarm bell, ask yourself, “What is this fear trying to tell me?” Use it to uncover what needs your attention—whether it’s preparation, caution, or a shift in perspective.

3. Focus on Your Values and Goals
   Once you’ve acknowledged the message, shift your focus to what truly matters. How does this situation align with your core values or long-term goals? Use those as your compass to decide your next steps, not the fear itself.

4. Take Small, Courageous Steps Forward
   Fear thrives on inaction. Break your challenge into manageable pieces and commit to taking one small step at a time. Each action, no matter how small, builds momentum and confidence.

5. Build a Fear-Resilient Mindset
   Fear shouldn’t be dismissed but must not be coddled. When the alarms go off, remind yourself that fear is a natural response to information and inaction. Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage honesty, rational decision-making, and offer perspective.

Moving Forward

When you stop letting fear lead, you free yourself to move forward with clarity and courage. Instead of being reactive, you become proactive, aligning your steps with what truly matters to you. This shift doesn’t eliminate fear but transforms your relationship with it—from being a tyrant who controls you to a tool you use wisely.

So the next time fear tries to grip the wheel, pause. Listen to what it’s saying, take deliberate action, and let your values and goals steer the way. Don’t surrender the helm of the ship over to fear. Fear, while loud, is merely an alarm on the console to inform your decisions—not guide them.

The 'Support Guilt' Syndrome

Picture this: You sit down to work on that big project you've been putting off for weeks. You crack your knuckles, open your laptop, and... ding! A message from a coworker. "Quick question," it says. (Narrator: It was not quick.)

Two hours later, you've answered seventeen "quick questions," joined an impromptu Zoom call, and somehow agreed to bring cupcakes to next week's virtual office party (is that even a thing?). Your big project? Still untouched.

If this sounds familiar, you might be suffering from what I like to call "support guilt." It's that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough unless you're directly helping someone else. It's like being a superhero, except instead of saving the world, you're saving your colleagues from the pressures of the day-to-day work—or from having to Google things themselves.

Breaking Free from the Guilt Trip

Now, don't get me wrong. Being helpful is great. But if you're constantly reacting to others' needs, when do you get to do your own work? It's time to break free from this cycle, and I've got a few tricks up my sleeve (that I’m still trying to master) that might just help.

1. Embrace the "What's Best Next?" Mindset

Instead of trying to do everything (spoiler alert: you can't), ask yourself, "What's the best thing I can do right now?" It's like being the director of your own life movie. Sometimes the best scene is helping a coworker, and sometimes it's dramatically turning off notifications and diving into focused work. “What’s best next?” is a fluid question—keep asking it!

2. Give Yourself Permission Slips

Remember in school when you needed a permission slip to go on field trips? Well, it's time to become your own teacher (minus the unfortunate fashion choices). Use your calendar as a bunch of permission slips. Block out time for important tasks, and when that time comes, consider it your official permission to ignore everything else—assuming it’s still “what’s best next.”

3. The Magic of Timeboxing

Timeboxing is just a fancy way of saying, "I'm going to do this thing for this amount of time, and then I'm going to stop." It's like a game show, but instead of winning money, you win... well, time to do other stuff.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, just start: Set a timer for 25 minutes and focus on one task (Google: Pomodoro technique). When the timer goes off, take a break. Maybe use that break to answer some of those burning "quick questions" that have been piling up—or keep pushing ahead if you’re in the groove. Then rinse and repeat.

Putting It All Together

Now, you might be thinking, "This all sounds great, but how do I actually do it?" Fear not, intrepid reader! Here's a step-by-step guide:

1. Get yourself a task manager: Whether it's a fancy app or a notebook with more stickers than a kindergartener's lunchbox, find a system to keep track of your to-dos. I’ve tried all (read: most) of them, and I love Todoist.

2. Befriend your calendar: Start blocking out time for important tasks. Remember, these are your permission slips! Todoist (and others) offer an integration to put your task directly on your calendar.

3. Prioritize like a pro: At the start of each day, pick 2-3 "must-do" tasks. Everything else is gravy. Remember, “What’s best next?”

4. Embrace the power of "No": It's a complete sentence, and it's your new best friend. Use it wisely, but use it often. Every “yes” is a “no” to something else.

5. Communicate your focus time: Let your team know when you're going into "deep work mode," then silence notifications. Maybe even create a silly hat to wear that signals "Do not disturb unless the building is literally on fire."

The Road to Productivity... and Beyond!

Remember, changing habits takes time. You might fall off the wagon occasionally, and that's okay. The important thing is to keep trying—and to have an ideal state you’re trying to reach. Eventually, you'll find a balance between being a supportive team player and getting your own stuff done (which always helps the team!).

And who knows? Maybe one day you'll look up from your perfectly timeboxed schedule and realize you've become a productivity ninja. Just don't let it go to your head – nobody likes a smug ninja.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

~

The solution? Well, as long as it works, who cares, right?

Pragmatism isn't necessarily bad, but it's a poor indicator of genuine care for people—the customer or the employee. Pragmatism leads us to make decisions that overvalue the pain and undervalue the long-term effects.

Sure, most companies (hopefully all?) aren't out there selling cocaine drops with pictures of kids on the front label these days.

But let's pause for a moment. How many companies are just products looking for a problem to solve rather than people looking to serve the best interests of others?

Helping someone in their pain is valuable, productive, and rewarding. But if you start to serve the pain rather than the person, you'll be led astray into dubious and potentially harmful means.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

~ Paul Tucker

Good questions mean nothing if not coupled with exceptional listening.

So many people ask a good question, only to hijack the conversation seconds later with their own thoughts. I’m guilty of this myself.

Here’s the pattern I’ve developed to protect myself from, well, me. It’s not perfect, and I’m not perfect at it, yet when I stick to this plan, I’ve rarely experienced a negative result.

ONE: Ask a question and count to 10.

Don’t interrupt, ask another question, or make a statement—even if the other person says nothing. Let the awkwardness form an unobstructed bridge of connection. Let the invitation to chat hang in the air!

TWO: Listen to understand.

You’re not done yet; it’s not your turn to speak! Keep listening to learn and understand their perspective. Try to identify ways in which you (or they) might misunderstand the situation.

THREE: Ask a follow-on question.

“Why do you think it works that way?” or “What’s your perspective on the root problem?” or “How does that make you feel?” are great starters.

Questions like these calm the other person so they don’t feel forced to respond with perfect information; they only offer their perspective. It’s important that you don’t interject your thoughts into the situation at this point. Don’t aim to be right; aim to gain clarity.

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FOUR: Ask how they’d advise a friend to fix it.

Now you’re starting to engage; you’re asking them to identify next steps. It’s always better if they identify next steps themselves, but you may need to offer broad ideas, especially if they’re stressed, tired, or emotionally charged.

This is where faulty thinking starts to become more clear to the other person. As they talk about the next steps, the realities of incomplete or inaccurate information begin to break down as they discuss steps. They may begin second-guessing some of the perspectives they described earlier.

FIVE: Ask if you can share your perspective of the situation.

One, remember it’s a perspective—there are things you don’t know about their life or situation. Two, say as much to the other person! If you’ve done the first four steps with honesty and patience, this step is often not needed because the other person invites you to weigh in on what they’ve described.

SIX: Rinse and repeat.

This isn’t a once-and-done process. Even in a single conversation, you may need to repeat these steps multiple times. It takes effort and patience to guide relationships through this pattern of truth and love.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

~

Here are ten marks—ten actionable steps and litmus tests to become a leader who serves and supports their team:

1. Listen actively and empathetically

Effective communication starts with listening. Practice active listening by giving your full attention to team members when they speak. Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their perspective. Show empathy by acknowledging their feelings and experiences. This approach helps build trust and makes your team feel valued.

• Essential Question: Do you ask follow-up questions? How much of the talking do you do in small meetings? It’s hard to listen when you’re doing the talking.

2. Empower your team members

A servant leader doesn't hoard power but shares it. Delegate meaningful tasks and responsibilities to your team members. Provide them with the resources and authority needed to succeed in these tasks. Encourage autonomy and decision-making at all levels. This empowerment not only develops your team's skills but also boosts their confidence and job satisfaction.

• Essential Question: When your team asks questions, do you default to telling them what to do, or do you remind them of the parameters/requirements and reinforce that you’ll trust their decision within those parameters?

3. Prioritize professional development

Invest in your team's growth. Regularly discuss career goals with each team member and help them identify and create a plan to achieve these goals. It’s not your job to make the plan or vision; it is your job to open doors so their path is as straightforward as possible! Provide opportunities for skill-building and learning through training programs, mentorship, conferences, or challenging assignments. Offer mentorship yourself or connect team members with mentors who can guide their professional development.

• Essential Question: Do you know your team's interests and passions? Do you know what they hope to achieve and learn in their current role? If not, get busy and get curious!

4. Lead by example

As a leader, your actions speak louder than words. Demonstrate the work ethic and values you expect from your team. Be transparent about your own challenges and growth areas. When you make mistakes, take responsibility, apologize, and show your team how to humbly learn and grow through errors. This vulnerability and authenticity will inspire your team to do the same.

• Essential Question: When did you last make a mistake that impacted your team? Did you humbly apologize? If not, you create an environment where your ego matters more than results and honesty. Oof.

5. Recognize and appreciate efforts

Appreciation goes a long way in motivating a team. Regularly acknowledge both individual and team accomplishments. Offer specific, sincere praise for good work— don't just say "good job," but explain what was good and why it matters. Celebrate milestones and successes as a team to foster a sense of unity and shared achievement. Affirmation is fuel for the soul!

• Essential Question: Does your team know what you admire and respect? Do they know what steps they can take to earn your affirmation? If you don’t talk about what’s good and honorable, they won’t know how to achieve it.

6. Foster a positive work environment

The atmosphere you create significantly impacts your team's performance and well-being. Encourage open communication and collaboration among team members. Address conflicts promptly and fairly to maintain harmony. Respect personal time and be flexible to promote work-life balance and employee well-being.

• Essential Question: When a disagreement arises, do you seek clarification—digging deeper into the tension, or do you seek to silence it? Open communication is vital to a healthy team.

7. Seek and act on feedback

A servant leader is constantly learning and improving. Regularly ask your team for feedback on your leadership style. Be open to constructive criticism and show that you value their input. Most importantly, implement changes based on the feedback you receive. This demonstrates that you truly listen and care about your team's opinions.

• Essential Question: Are you regularly asking what you could do better or how to better serve your team’s needs? Once feedback is given (it won’t come right away!), express gratitude, ask a follow-up question, and act on it immediately! Never dismiss input, even if it’s unhelpful or old news.

8. Remove obstacles for your team

Part of serving your team is making their work easier. Identify and address roadblocks that hinder productivity. This might involve advocating for your team's needs with upper management, streamlining processes, or providing necessary tools and resources. By clearing the path, you allow your team to focus on their core responsibilities and perform at their best.

• Essential Question: Does your team see that what pains them pains you, too? If not, this creates separation and “classism” in the workplace. Care about what matters to your team—and lend a hand (or two)!

9. Show genuine care for your team members

Remember that your team members are people first and employees second (or third!). Take an interest in their lives outside of work. Offer support during personal challenges. Remember important details about each team member, like their hobbies or family situations. This personal touch helps build stronger relationships and a more cohesive team. The trick for remembering: Actually caring.

• Essential Question: Do you ask how so-and-so is doing after a challenge or difficult life circumstance? Do you make it a point to follow up or check in again later? If not, your team is learning that you care only about results, not about them as people—and burnout will follow.

10. Continuously improve your leadership skills

Servant leadership is a journey, not a destination. Stay updated on leadership trends and best practices. Attend leadership workshops or conferences to learn new skills and perspectives. Read books on servant leadership and management. The more you grow as a leader, the better you can serve your team.

• Essential Question: You can’t improve if you aren’t trying. What actions, disciplines, or behaviors would you point toward as evidence that you’re working to improve as a servant leader?

Conclusion

By implementing these strategies, you can transform your leadership approach to one that truly serves and supports your team. Remember, servant leadership is not about being weak, no longer having an opinion, or letting others dominate you. It's about creating a strong, motivated team by (often sacrificially) putting their needs first and helping them reach their full potential.

As always,

Stay humble. Hang tough.

~

Those ruthless sisters, Indifference and Neglect, deceive us to believe that they are the steel against sentiment and insulation from pain. But in truth, they stir within us a cesspool of darkness—a well of numbing poison from which we alone must drink.

Apathy feels good at first. It numbs the soul to discomfort and fear, yet left unaddressed, apathy seeps into all areas of life with its numbing and distancing effects. It creates a forever-January of the soul where the pain of thorns will not appear, nor will the blossoms of joy and hope.

The only remedy is to care. Do not fear pain; fear what it must say of your soul that you can no longer feel it. Growing in care may introduce various pains, but it is also our greatest channel for joy.

Feeling apathetic? Look for people to serve. Look for needs to meet. Do the very thing you wish someone would do for you. For those you are unable to serve or meet in their need, pray that God would bring others to care—and even seek to orchestrate it when possible.

Humbly cast your anxiety on the Lord.

And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in the faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished among your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, strengthen, confirm, and ground you. To Him be might forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:5b-11

Take your apathetic thoughts captive to Christ.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the tearing down of strongholds, as we tear down speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Care about people. Do good work. Stay humble. Hang tough.

Our friends at Merriam-Webster remind us of the definition and meaning of "reasonable." The English language and definition are clear on this word. Sadly, cultural usage of the term has not followed suit. Please stick with me. This won't be as nerdy as it sounds.

Why does it matter?

First, we must recognize that most of us want to be considered reasonable people at some level. No one wants to be labeled as "unreasonable" — and this is good! Even the Bible reminds us to be known for our reasonableness:

⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:5-7 (emphasis mine)

But let's not overlook the cultural pitfalls and misuse of reasonable. In many cases, when asked to "be reasonable," the exclusive meaning is to cease from excessive or extreme position as the other person defines it—sometimes to the neglect of logic or reason. The ask isn't for reasonableness but for neutrality (or even positive support!) at the expense of rational engagement with objective truth.

This neutrality is the great price of our modern reasonableness. Reasonable, fair, and logical discussion (e.g., healthy conflict) is put to death on the altar of zero-tension. Patrick Lencioni describes this cancerous peace as "artificial harmony" in his excellent book, "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team."

Healthy conflict is just that, healthy. People (and ideas) grow as a result. Healthy conflict isn't angry or mean-spirited but willing to discuss opposing ideas and find the best path forward. Without this willingness to reasonably discuss conflict areas, our growth and that of others will be significantly hampered if not halted. If you're a Christian, know that unreasonable behavior reflects poorly on Christ, the Gospel, and other believers.

How can I become a reasonable person?

Neutrality destroys reasonable behavior

Recognize that laying aside beliefs, truth, or logic is not reasonable. If someone asks you to do so, they are compelling you toward neutrality—which they can undoubtedly ask of you—but neutrality and reasonable are not the same. Neutrality is antonymic to reasonable; reason demands a position. You can be logical without being reasonable, but you cannot be reasonable without first being logical.

• Do you tend to take the "stay neutral" approach in conversations rather than committing to reason and striving to find the best path forward?

Adopt an open posture toward differing perspectives

Be open to discussing beliefs, truth, and logic. To reason with someone demands that you hold an open posture toward hearing and learning from discussion, explanation, and other perspectives. "Open" does not imply that you will (without adequate evidence and reason) adopt another's viewpoint, only that you will be fair, kind, and logical in hearing them out.

• Are you known for a fair and generous mind, or do people tend to shy away from expressing their differing opinions near you?

Lay aside your ego

Ego (AKA pride) is the killer of reason. Instead, bind yourself to a "best path forward" mindset. It's not about your idea versus their idea. It's about finding the best path based on logic, facts, and care for others. Become a defender of truth rather than your perspective; it's freeing to see truth win—even if you initially got it wrong.

• Do you find yourself flustered or notice your adrenaline begins to flow (e.g., fight or flight) when contrarian opinions are voiced? These physical cues often indicate that your perspectives are closely linked to your ego.

Gentle to your critics and opposition

Be gentle with those with whom you disagree. One of the core dispositions of the reasonable person is their ability to hold those with whom they differ in a position of gracious care. A gentle spirit does not imply that you now ignore their errors in judgment but that you can still see the human on the other side without disparaging their character.

• Do you gossip about others or defame their character? It's one thing to debrief a decision or point of confusion. It's another to attack or slander your critics and dissenters.

Conclusion

The odds are good that you're a highly reasonable person like me in some areas. Yet, if we're honest with one another, we'd confess that our reasonableness doesn't extend to all spheres and relationships.

We cannot change what we are unwilling to admit. We will not improve what we do not identify as an error. If we are to grow, we must call it as it is: that's the only reasonable path forward.