Humiliated but Not Humble
The Hidden Connection Between Pride and Pain
Humiliation arrives uninvited.
It might come from that presentation that went sideways, the project that failed spectacularly, or the public correction that stung more than it should. It's external, imposed upon us by circumstances, behaviors, or others, leaving us feeling exposed and diminished.
But here's the profound truth: humiliation doesn't automatically cultivate humility. In fact, the intensity of our humiliation often reveals the depth of our pride. When we believe we're above criticism, beyond failure, or deserve better treatment, humiliation strikes hardest. While there's no justification for the intentional humiliation of another person, it's often our pride that transforms even a justified correction into a crushing blow.
By contrast, humility is an internal transformation. It's not something done to us but a change within us. It's what happens when we metabolize those moments of humiliation into something powerful, choosing to see our stumbles not merely as the shattering of an image we hoped others would admire, but as stepping stones toward genuine growth and godliness.
Scripture reminds us that "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18). Pride blinds us to our own limitations, making every setback feel like an unjust assault on our worth.
Humiliation asks, "What will others think?" while humility asks, "What can I learn and how can I change?" Humiliation shrinks us, but humility grounds us. One is a wound; the other is wisdom.
Proverbs 19:25 reveals this truth: "Strike a scoffer, and the simple will learn prudence; reprove a man of understanding, and he will gain knowledge." James 4:6 reinforces this principle: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
The most effective people I've worked with aren't those who've never faced humiliation but those who've alchemized it into humility – turning their most challenging moments into their most instructive teachers. King Solomon, considered the wisest of all kings, captured this transformation perfectly: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom" (Proverbs 11:2).
Sharing what I'm learning, not what I've mastered.
As always,
Stay humble. Hang tough.