The Most Dangerous Pride Disguises Itself as Humility
Self-deprecation and self-doubt, at their root, are forms of pride: They focus on me and my image, not on others around me.
That "I'm not good at this" comment or statements of self-doubt or self-depreciation may make you think you're being humble.
It might be pride in disguise. Ask me how I know. 🫣
If we downplay or overfocus on our abilities and limitations, we're still making it all about us—our limitations, our insecurities, our comfort zone, and our desired image.
This isn't humility. It's an inverted form of pride and ego preservation. True humility shifts the spotlight completely away from ourselves.
As Philippians 2:4 reminds us: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Genuine humility asks: "How can I best serve others?" not "How can I protect my image?" or "How can I insulate myself from embarrassment?"
Real humility isn't about deprecating or insulting yourself—this is still a form of self-focused pride. The aim of humility isn't rooted in how you view yourself. It's about how you think of others first.
Here's how to practice genuine humility in leadership:
🔹 Ask "What does my team need from me right now?" instead of focusing on your performance
🔹 Accept praise with a simple "thank you" and redirect attention to the team effort
🔹 Make decisions based on what will help others succeed, not what feels safe for you
🔹 Share credit freely and take responsibility quickly when things go wrong
🔹 Ask questions and listen to hear, not respond—you have two ears and only one mouth for a reason!
True humility is freeing. When you stop the cycle of building yourself up or tearing yourself down, you can finally focus on what matters: serving and building up the people around you.
Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
This verse is why I don't swear. Not because I think it's the worst thing ever, but because this verse says it's not helpful. But there's a deeper application here!
This verse tells us to PUT ON speech that is...
1️⃣ Good for building up others ("Will others be helped?")
2️⃣ Fitting for the occasion ("Is this the time/place for this remark?")
3️⃣ Gives grace to those who hear ("Will others be encouraged?")
This short checklist has shaped and will continue to shape my speech and behavior toward others. There is lots of room to improve!
How about you? Have you ever worked with someone with this joyful, others-before-me, genuine humility? What was the impact on you and your workplace?
As always,
Stay humble. Hang tough.
Paul Tucker